What I Learned from Hosting 100 Hours of Peer Support By CeCe Cheng, CEO and Founder of ShareWell

Peer support isn’t a phrase we hear all that often and I wasn’t fully aware of what it
meant until I needed it.

Two years ago, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and my recovery from that
changed the course of my life. I saw a therapist and spoke to friends but still felt lonely
and isolated. When I discovered peer support, I finally discovered people who
understood me because they had been through a similar situation. I was not only able to
talk about what I’d experienced without feeling guilt or shame but was also able to
slowly regain confidence and purpose by holding space for others to share.

I wanted to take this discovery and use it to help others. ShareWell was born as a result.
Fast forward to one year later and I’ve now hosted over 100 peer support sessions. Here
are some of my learnings from 100+ hours of getting and receiving peer support:

■ How to really listen: It sounds simple but listening to other people without
interruption and without trying to ‘fix’ them or offer advice is one of the greatest
things you can do for someone who’s suffering. Listening without judgment and
taking the time to truly understand where someone is coming from can be the
best gift for someone in pain.

■ Peer support gives you agency: I no longer felt like I was powerless but that I
was able to do some good in the world. I no longer felt ashamed of what had
happened and was ready instead to use my experience to help others

■ People are hurting: Now more than ever we need to help each other. Studies
show that post-pandemic anxiety and depression have increased by 25% in the
US alone but the facilities and resources aren’t there to support this rise. It’s our
hope that ShareWell can bridge this gap by providing a peer support solution.

■ It’s not always obvious when someone needs help: I’ve spoken to thousands of
people and many, from the outside at least, appear to be put together and
extroverted (perhaps how some people see me) but underneath that front, each
is fighting their own battle. By talking to people, you realize that everyone is going
through something, whether they look like they are or not.

■ Friends and peers are not the same: Friends are people we love to be around and
spend time with but they can’t always empathize with what we’ve been through.
Peers are not necessarily involved with your day-to-day life but understand you.
By embracing both you can tap into what you truly need. Peer support can help
strengthen friendships by taking away the strain of difficult conversations and
allowing you to simply enjoy each other’s company.

■ How to empathize with other people: I learned how to acknowledge and validate
people’s feelings and what they’ve been through. In giving others space, we can
empower them and let them know that how they feel is important. It can be
incredibly rewarding to help someone going through a hard time.

I can honestly say that peer support groups have changed my life. I no longer have
traumatic flashbacks to my relationship, my relationships with my friends have
improved, I’ve honed my communication skills and I’m a better listener now. But perhaps
the most beautiful thing I have taken away from my time in peer support is realizing just
how connected we can be to each other.

In the last year, I’ve personally spoken with thousands of people from around the world from all different ages and backgrounds and found a deep connection to what each of them are going through.
I found that when you really understand where someone is coming from, you discover
there are many more similarities than differences to your own story.
The pandemic has caused a lonely world to feel lonelier with over half of Americans
reporting feeling isolated and I firmly believe peer support is the long overlooked
solution. I’m grateful to all our ShareWell members for the 100 hours of support and feel
incredibly lucky to have this new global family of peers to lean on.

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