Connections Take Work

Dear Readers,

Don’t you just hate it when someone disappears without letting anyone know? That would be me on Word Press! I will read and post, then just stop for awhile, but it would probably be a good thing to let people know I am taking a break so sober friends don’t think I’ve gone back to drinking, or ignoring them.

A month ago we held a memorial service for my mother in another state, and I was so happy the day was beautiful. I got to see many cousins and extended family! Back here in Minnesota I had a hard couple of weeks, feeling very lonely and isolated. I found myself withdrawing for awhile.

I didn’t panic, though, I have lived long enough with myself to know the best way to get out of these low moods, is to reach out to people. All it takes is a couple of texts to friends or family, meeting one person for coffee, and I start feeling balanced again.

It takes work, and yet my mind makes it harder than it needs to be! I can make anything into a mountain! LOL! In fact, at one time I kept a chart where I rated how difficult I perceived a task would be, then rated again after I completed it. In almost every case, the task was easier than what I had first anticipated. (With the exception of writing Christmas cards! Ha!)

So, I have been meeting friends, going to my favorite on-line yoga class, texting far away friends and family, lifting weights, cleaning the house, napping, and soon traveling again. I am also training for a new volunteer position.

And Mr. UT and are still walking. Winter does not stop us. Just takes a LOT of extra layers, and takes me more time to get ready! (The extra fat I have helps keep me warm too! LOL)

Right after my mother’s memorial, Mr. UT and I went walking, and instantly we were immersed in gold. It was shimmering golden pink, and when I reached out my hand, my hand was gold. The bark of the trees were gold. The people were gold. The lake was gold. I was in awe. My photos are just taken on my cell phone, so they don’t alwys capture the true beauty. And often, I can take a lovely photo, but the feeling I have when I see the setting in real life, is hard to convey to you.

Air of Gold by Wendy

A sunset walk,

In golden air,

All I saw,

Was gold everywhere.

***

My hand, the trees,

The steps, the stones,

People walking,

Incased in gold.

***

Words I spoke,

Were a golden mist,

With lips of gold,

Of my beloved’s kiss.

***

Fading quickly,

I held on fast,

This golden sunset,

In sleep will last.

***

With Iced Coffee Always,

On Day 2653,

Wendy

14 thoughts on “Connections Take Work

  1. I loved reading this! I love your smile, sincerity, helpfulness to others, your humor is awesome, and I love how you’re such a sweet person! That gold is so pretty and was meant to arrive just at the right time. Keep on a smiling! 😁

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  2. Oh my. That gold was your mother’s doing. Seriously, it’s a thing.

    I remember so fondly the weekend of my mother’s funeral, being surrounded, as you say, by so much family and love and togetherness. It was hard for that party to break up and to go back to being much more alone. Sending you hugs.

    I can also relate to the difficulty of reaching out to social connections, as well as the warmth that flows when I actually do. I get so busy. Ha! This week my soulmate/friend from college is helping me install a new bathtub in my apartment (that is, he’s installing it and I talk to him. I have lots of building skills (plenty of them taught to me by him), but this is beyond my capabilities)). I also have heavy work deadlines. But they are getting skooched back by hours-long conversations with him. I am stretching myself to let this happen, and it’s good for me.

    Let’s make this all about me 🙂

    So glad you’re reaching out and nourishing yourself. And walking! Enjoy today’s blizzard!! Thank you for writing.

    Adrian

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  3. The photos really are beautiful! (What phone do you have, I’m in the market for a new one!)
    I find that strangely, the less busy I am, the less motivation I have to do things. Like oh I can do that tomorrow, I have swaths of time. A trip to Home Depot I keep putting off, because I don’t really want to do it. If I was busy and had only an hour after work to get it done, I’d do it without thinking. Similar with socializing. If I haven’t done it for awhile, trying to plan something seems like a Big Deal.
    I prefer to be busy and have things already on the calendar. But I also love my alone time for doing nothing. It’s a delicate balance!! xoxoxoooooo

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