It’s that time of year again where our senses are bombarded minute to minute by a cacophony of lights, sounds and smells all designed to remind us of the looming big day. In recent years, the warm and fuzzy sentimentality has met the naked consumerism aspect of Christmas in one medium, The John Lewis Christmas ad. The marketing folks over at John Lewis have honed the art of appealing to our deepest sentiments, nostalgia and seasonal good will to imbue the audience with positive brand recognition at a time of year that people are willing to part with large sums of money in a fiercely competitive retail market. The more cynical mind may dismiss the messages and sentiments in these ads as exploitative capitalism. The more amenable among us may say ‘why not?’. These ads are usually beautifully written and constructed and give pause to reflect on deeper meanings in human relationships at this time of year, not something you can say about many other advertising campaigns.
The Beginner
At the beginning of 2022’s Jon Lewis Ad, titled ‘The Beginner’, we are introduced to a man wo has seemingly crossed the threshold of middle age, attempting (ineptly) that most adolescent of physical pursuits, skateboarding. The soundtrack is also worth noting. People of a vintage similar to our protagonist will recognise this as a lounge-jazz version of Blink 182’s 1999 hit All the Small Things.
From scene to scene, we see the man struggling to get the hang of his new transportation and causing himself multiple injuries. He seems particularly determined to master the new skill and on the first watch, the viewer may wonder what is motivating him to inflict this upon himself as it doesn’t look like he’s having much fun. We see a woman, who is presumably his wife or partner, talking on the phone saying they ‘can’t wait’ so we get the feeling that they are building to something. Then comes the ring of a doorbell.
Any Social Worker, Social Care Worker or Family Support Practitioner who has worked within the child protection system will recognise the scene we meet at the other side of the door for what it is in a fraction of a second. A professional looking woman carrying paperwork and a girl named Ellie, looking scared and clinging to a beloved possession, in this case, a skateboard. The content of the ad leading up to that point now all makes sense. This couple are foster carers, perhaps newly approved and inexperienced, and this frightened looking young person is being placed with them. The girl looks into the hall of the home and sees a skateboard propped up against the wall. Our middle-aged skater-boy seizes the moment he has been waiting for and, trying to be nonchalant about it, makes the connection of a shared interest with the new young person in their lives. We see the girl enter the home and the two skaters strike up a conversation about their respective skateboards. The caption tells us that ‘Over 108,000 children in the UK are in the care system. We’re making long-term commitment to support the futures of young people from care’ and the John Lewis logo is the final thing we see.
Visibility
The portrayal of the lives and stories of people involved in the child protection system, from children to social workers is famously badly represented in fictional media. Soap operas and movies tend engage a ‘heroes and villains’ narrative. Foster parents in some stories are portrayed as cruel and uncaring, supplanting the role of the ‘wicked stepmother’ character from fairy tales. In other portrayals, they are depicted as well-meaning people but naïve and unable to relate to the story of the child placed in their care. The Beginner tells a story that is almost never represented in fictional media; that of a foster carer who cares deeply about the task he has been asked to take on and is willing to go through personal struggles (in this case, numerous injuries) to give himself the best chance of forming a relationship with a child based on mutual understanding. This is a refreshing and welcome portrayal of the emotional and personal struggles faced by foster carers, the vast majority of whom care deeply about forming a close relationship with children placed in their care.
The Positive Male
We can wonder when watching The Beginner, why is he so determined to have something to offer the child coming into their care? Is he worried that he won’t relate to Ellie the way his wife/partner will? Is he still trying to figure out his role and what he can bring to his role as a male foster carer? We know from research that both boys and girls benefit enormously from having a positive male influence in their lives. This can be a dad, an older brother, an uncle, a coach, a teacher and many others. We know from research that many of the most vulnerable children in society (who are the ones most likely to need alternative care) lack a positive male role model in their lives. Boys often grow up without a template for being that positive male and girls can grow up without an experience of positive relationships with older males. These situations can leave young people more susceptible to exploitation by men who are not positive influences and drawn to the more toxic aspects of masculinity. The Beginner gives us a brief but powerful example of what so many ‘foster dads’ do in breaking this cycle and presenting a young and vulnerable person with an example of a man who shows a real interest in a young person’s life and dedicates himself to making that young person’s life better by forming a caring relationship based on understanding.
Transitional Objects
When we see Ellie at the door, we see her clutching her skateboard and everything that we saw in the ad leading up to that point suddenly makes sense. These foster carers have been told that skateboarding is important to Ellie. We must use our imaginations to wonder is Ellie coming to their care from home, from a foster placement that broke down or from a residential placement. We would like to think that a savvy social worker was doing their job well by highlighting the things that are important to Ellie to her new carers. Children bring their entire life experience with them to a new placement, and sometimes they bring little else. Far too many children have experienced placements ending acrimoniously and their few belongings being unceremoniously bagged up in bin liners or shopping bags. Imagine what that says to a child about how the grownups in their lives value them and their belongings. It is beholden on social workers and foster carers to show the utmost respect for the things that are important to a child. Respecting their physical ‘baggage’ is just as important as respecting their emotional and behavioural ‘baggage’ that we focus endlessly on.
A Selfless Endeavor
What many of us working in child protection and specifically with children in care take for granted is that foster carers are simply ‘the type of people’ who are willing to upend their own lives at the request of a social work department who needs a placement for a child. What foster carers are asked to do in a time of increased scrutiny and monitoring with evermore complexity in the needs of children in care is almost impossible. The fact that we have a cohort of people willing to voluntarily give so much of themselves to benefit a child in need of care is truly remarkable. The work and dedication of foster carers is so often undervalued and under-estimated. As professionals working in the system, we can often become preoccupied with professional intervention and see these as the main ‘work’ that needs to be done with a child. We make referrals to Psychologists, Psychiatrists, Paediatricians, Play Therapists, Art Therapists, Music Therapists, Equine Therapists, Occupational Therapists, Speech and Language Therapists and Physiotherapists to name but a few. While these interventions are often crucial and life-changing for children, our focus on these can make us forget what the most fundamental prerequisite for a child’s need for safety and security is. The positive impact that safe, consistent and patient day to day care can have on a child’s emotional, social and physical health is almost unmeasurable. And, because it is unmeasurable and is not broken down in to ‘sessions’, it is frequently devalued. We tend to forget how crucial the mundane parts of life are and how they shape our sense of the world and sense of ourselves. With a bit of imagination, one could imagine Ellie and our middle-aged skater-boy visiting skate shops to get new stickers and Ellie helping him into the care after he injures himself again. We would likely never fully understand the importance of these experiences for a child like Ellie and what role they have in shaping the young woman she will become.
In Conclusion
‘The Beginner’ represents a unique portrayal of a personal struggle from an even rarer perspective, that of a foster carer striving to do something to help him connect with a young person being placed in his care. One would hope that when the general public sees this ad, most of whom will have had no direct experience of the care system, it will serve to highlight and provoke thought and discussion around the needs of children that have to be brought in to care and what we need to do as a society to support them and support those people who heroically open up their lives and homes to children in need of care. One would hope that media portrayals such as this will become more commonplace and reflect the lived reality of the people involved instead the depictions of Foster carers, children in care and social workers that we tend to see in soap operas and movies which greatly underserves all involved. With one final indulgence of the imagination, we can imagine Ellie and her skater-boy foster dad getting to know each other better and enjoying many trips to the skate park as the months roll on.
John Finn
Cork, Ireland
December 2022
Irish Social Work 
Leave a comment