Navigating the World

Dear Readers,

I never know when an idea or a thought I want to write about will pop into my head, but often times when I play Candy Crush Soda! It’s like a meditation for me, as it’s mindless and pretty! LOL

So today, as I was playing my game, I had an “ah ha” moment. I have just returned from a Big Adventure, my yoga retreat in Florida. I realize, that when I travel alone, my trips are less about the activities and more about learning how to be mostly comfortable in social situations.
Meeting people and how to navigate the world.

In the past, drinking did help with social anxiety, until it didn’t. Making small talk, asking questions, listening, is quite challenging at times, even when I’m with good friends!

It’s especially hard for me as I can’t hear well, and I can miss much of conversation. If there are jokes, or more than one person talks at a time it can be a challenge. I still try to be funny sometimes, which doesn’t always work, and I can be very hyper, and other times just quiet. I never know. I had one hard time, where I said something rather dumb, and got so upset. I don’t know why, but I think it has to do with shame. I instantly felt shame. I hate the feeling of shame.

Airports are incredibly hard to hear in, and so I have to ask other people when they call my gate. The TSA people are pretty good, but sometimes they get annoyed if I don’t get the directions! They yell for me to get out of the machine where you have to put your hands up, when I stay too long.

I know that I am dependent on Mr. UT, which isn’t bad, just something Mr. UT and I are both working on, he is teaching me how to do the household finances, etc. When we turned 68, we started to realize time is short, and chances are he will die before me. So he is learning to wait to do things with me. (It doesn’t help he gets up early and does everything before I’m awake!)

Learning to navigate the world alone would not be my first choice. I like having someone I love to share adventures with me. Or having a friend to share the memories. I met another friend I only knew from Twitter, and I just love her. She woke me up in the morning so I could get to yoga with her. (As I can’t sleep with my cochlear implants on, I can’t hear alarms.) Now we have memories to share!

My trip was wonderful, as it was very well planned, and all the people I met were very nice! I am already thinking of where to go on my next big adventure!

With Dreams of Palm Trees,

But Wearing Mittens, it’s below zero here!

On Day 2709,

Wendy

16 thoughts on “Navigating the World

  1. Hey Wendy your trip looked fabulous! Been really cold out here the last few days. So proud of you for doing it alone. That takes courage and definitely getting out of your comfort zone. Great job too on starting to take on some of the finances. Don’t focus on silly things possibly said or done. Shrug it off and don’t hold onto it…we all do those kind of things especially sometimes when we’re a bit nervous. You are definitely my superhero 🦸‍♀️

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    1. Good advice, Dwight! That social anxiety is a hard thing. I got upset and went back to hotel early and cried. Was able to let go of it next morning!
      Thank you my friend!
      Yes, we are back to sub-zero temperatures here!
      xo

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  2. Oh I just loved reading this! I’m glad you met a new friend to make memories with! Your pictures are gorgeous! I have never traveled alone. You definitely inspire me! I never imagined the struggles with implants, like I never thought of you can’t wear them at night so can’t wake up to alarms! Or how loud airports are that would hinder hearing. Way before COVID we took a shirt beach trip. I saw there was morning yoga on the beach. I got up every morning and walked to the beach to watch the sunrise. I would have loved to join however I’ve never done yoga. Well, I tried once and couldn’t focus. Now that I don’t have all my horse chores to do I have more time. Took today off from work due to a snowstorm and going to give it a go again. My goal is next time to get the nerve to join the group. I remember it was advertised at the hotel. Anyway, I’m rambling but I’m so happy your already looking into another getaway!!! Thanks for sharing!!

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    1. Yes! Try it! I know what you mean about focus. Sometimes I have it more than other times.

      And a great place to try is on-line with me! LOL I’ll send you the link.
      Let me know if you want to try it. Wednesday at 6:00 Eastern Time. First class os free, and you can turn your camera off if you don’t want anyone to see you.

      Thank you, Jacqueline

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  3. Great reflections here. I love how you gently and persistently nuzzle around the details of life — so much life in you! And I am going to think vicariously about your Florida trip all day today 🙂

    Adrian

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    1. I LOVE THAT, “Gently and persistently nuzzle around the details of life!”
      I think my mom had a bigger influence on me than I thought, as she lived a full life after my dad passed away.
      xo

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  4. Oh that Florida retreat must have been heaven for you! SO glad you were brave and did it! It is difficult for me to step out of my comfort zone and join in social activities with strangers, and you have the added challenge of your hearing loss. I so admire you for not letting it curtail what you want to do. Love and light to you, Wendy! Xx

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  5. Oh Wendy you are just wonderful! You are not a person I would ever guess would feel self conscious about something you said, but that just goes to show how one’s outward projection can differ from the inner dialogue, I suppose! Glad that overall the trip was amazing, you know a yoga retreat is one of my dream vacations.

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