Here on My Brain’s Not Broken I have a tendency to write blog posts that serve as reminders. Sometimes they’re reminders that would be beneficial for whoever’s reading the post. Other times, the reminders are things I’ve forgotten long ago, and what I need to hear in the moment. Either way, reminder posts serve a purpose; they can help ground us and help us remember where we are on our journey. So today, I come to you with a specific reminder. Sometimes, you need to feel how you feel – and getting that out is the best thing you can do for yourself.
When I thought about how I’d write this post, I immediately felt the need to validate my feelings. Whenever I feel something out of the ordinary, I rush to find a reason behind why I feel that way. While it can bring comfort in finding a reason, I also feel pressure to justify those feelings. Even after all these years of getting to know myself, it’s still a challenge.
But here’s the thing: sometimes, you just need to feel. You need to express your feelings, to get them out. There’s not always a perfect time or place to do this, but the alternative can’t be to push those feelings down and not express them. In previous posts I’ve written about crying spells, I talked about why these feelings need to get out. I can’t always predict when a crying spell will come on, but I know I always feel better once I’m done. Why? Because whether I wanted to or not, those feelings needed to be felt.
So here’s the reminder, the crux of the message I hope you take away from today’s post: sometimes, you just need to cry. You need to cry, to weep, to sob, to wail and express whatever’s going on inside. And contrary to popular belief, this can be healthy and what is needed.
“Crying is an important safety valve, largely because keeping difficult feelings inside — what psychologists call repressive coping — can be bad for our health.”
Harvard Health Blog, 2021
It might not be fun or convenient, but it is important. No person’s feelings are simple, and we all have many emotions we feel every single day. By embracing our feelings when they occur, we’re getting to know ourselves better. Because even though sometimes that mean crying, other times it means smiling. It means laughing. It means thoroughly embracing our feelings because we deserve it — each and every one of us.
My Brain's Not Broken 
So true that sometimes you need to cry and give us permission to feel. We’re often told that we need to just get over things, think positive, and that crying is some sort of sign of weakness. But burying emotions only worsens things.
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It really does – and it can be hard to unlearn all this stuff when it’s what we were taught our entire lives. Crying has helped me release things I didn’t even know I was carrying, and deal with feelings instead of putting them off.
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As a child, I was always told I was being “too sensitive” when I was upset by something. If I cried, I was shamed even more. My dad would often say “I’ll give you something to cry about”, as if crying were a sign of weakness. I’m so glad you raised such valid points about crying. I agree that it’s 100% important to not hold it in— everyone has a different way of expressing themselves, and if crying helps that individual, let them cry. Don’t tell them they are @weak”, or tell them to “stop crying”. This does not help.
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I experienced this too. It can be so isolating to be punished for crying. I feel you. 😦
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I agree, everyone has different ways of expressing themselves. It can be a journey to figure out what those ways are but if it’s crying, then that’s what it is. Glad to see more people sharing positive points of view around crying, thanks for sharing!
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Such a good reminder Nathan!!
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Thanks! It’s something I tend to forget in my day-to-day life, and I feel like this reminder comes at the right time.
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