Couple Counseling: Is It Safe?

It’s not uncommon for me to decline a request for couple counseling.

The reasons typically have to do with safety and/or substance use and/or serious mental health issues.

Safety is code for concerns of domestic violence.

Risk indicators includes screaming, name calling, breaking of objects, hitting, pushing, shoving, choking, threatening harm, abuse of pets, limiting access to resources, police or child protection agency involvement. (This is but a small sample of indicators.)

The risk also has to take into account the severity of any of those indicators and how many co-exist.

Another risk indicator is concern for speaking one’s mind. However, even if someone isn’t afraid to speak their mind, there may still be serious safety issues.

Couple counseling can be an intense experience. It requires people to be authentic and transparent about behavior and issues affecting the relationship.

By necessity, people will be required to self-reflect and assume responsibility for untoward behavior, substance use and personal change.

When concerns are evident about the safety and integrity of couple counseling, individual counseling may be required to address the areas of concern to prepare the persons for couple counseling.

Screening for these issues is never perfect.

Some people, having been screened by the couple counselor may still be offered service.

At times the presence and/or severity of these issues aren’t presented sufficiently during screening and thus may surface during the counseling process. However, couple counselors are still recommended to learn and to use screening prior to providing service.

Screening can literally save lives.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.