50 Mindful Steps to Self-Esteem
Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes
Executive Director, AllCEUs
CEs can be earned for this presentation at https://allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/587/c/
Objectives
~ Understand what self esteem is, why it is important and how to develop it
~ Explore how physical sensations give clues to what is important and whether you are living in harmony with our values (Gut)
~ Identify and address thinking errors that keep you stuck (Head)
~ Evaluate how emotions and the heart contribute to the development of self-esteem (Heart)
~ Examine how the environment impacts your self-esteem
The Nature of Self-Esteem
~ How you feel about yourself in contrast to who you think you “should” be
~ The more rejecting you are of yourself, the more
~ Distress you experience
~ You seek external validation
~ In order to develop healthy relationships you need to
~ Feel good about yourself
~ Get in touch with yourself and your true values
~ Choose actions in harmony with your true self
The Gift of Mindfulness
~ Teaches people to live in the moment
~ Not stuck in guilt or resentment of the past
~ Not paralyzed by fear of the future
~ Putting one foot in front of the other
~ Cornerstone of mindfulness is acceptance
~ Nonjudgmental
~ Letting be
~ Patient
~ Mindfulness teaches that when you trust yourself and act with awareness and purpose you become more self reliant
Note: The book will give you access to online, recorded versions of several meditations
Impact of Mindlessness
~ Ignoring or invalidating how you feel
~ Failing to integrate feelings, thoughts, sensations and urges
~ Running on autopilot and not making time for the things that are important (getting us closer to our ideal selves)
~ Blindly adopting mainstream messages of who/what we should be
~ Not in harmony with who we really want to be
~ Not achievable or realistic
Breathing and the Body
~ By developing mindfulness and self-awareness you can quiet your thoughts
~ The constant noise often prohibits from addressing the underlying issues of your emotional turmoil
~ Life becomes focused on treading water
~ Forward goals are exchanged for just surviving
~ By making contact with the present moment you can:
~ Find your strength
~ Learn to grow
~ Choose how you wish to respond
Activities
~ A Deep Full Breath
~ Abdominal breathing signals the brain to slow down and relax. “Rest and digest”
~ Simply paying attention to your breath often causes it to slow down
~ Feel the loving touch (Your Breath)
~ Life begins and ends with breath
~ Breathing helps relax the body and move Qi
~ Add visual and auditory breathing reminders
Activities cont…
~ In and Out
~ Inhale and take in positive affirmations
~ Exhale and let go of stress and negativity
~ Taken another step further, imagine inhaling cooling/calming blue air and exhaling stresses (red, black, gray)
~ Read the Inscription
~ Pay attention to what your body is trying to tell you (Lenny)
~ Practice noticing points of tension/tightness/heaviness and feel them relax or loosen as you exhale
Thinking and the Mind
~ An Impartial Witness (Fly on the wall)
~ Stop Sorting (into good and bad)
~ See the Whole Elephant
~ The issue
~ The strengths
~ Spin the Wheel of Paradox
~ Work
~ Traffic
~ No Blame
Emotions and the Heart
~ Spaciousness
~ Recognizing all the emotions contained within your heart
~ Cultivating warm heartedness
~ Plant your garden (What are you going to care about)
~ Tend and befriend
~ Count Your Blessings
~ Delight for Others
Being in the World
~ Claim Your Emotional Baggage
~ Don’t let it stay on the conveyor
~ Don’t give it to someone else
~ Listen—Just Listen
~ Listen to hear and understand (yourself and others)
~ Speak with Compassion (To yourself and others)
~ Write Your Job Description
~ Goals
~ Duties
Summary
~ Self esteem begins in childhood
~ Being aware of your self helps you identify your strengths and develop your “me” identity.
~ Part of self esteem development includes
~ Values identification
~ Understanding wants vs. needs
~ Addressing cognitive distortions
~ Being aware of sensations, feelings and thoughts
~ Helps choose behaviors which are in unison with values
~ Helps support you through the difficult moments
~ Silences the critics
~ Clarifies who YOU are and what YOU want