Teen: But everyone is drinking…..

Have your teens discovered alcohol yet?

At some point they likely will. Not if, but when.

Many will enjoy the experience. Some will appreciate the escape from life’s challenges. Some will enjoy both aspects.

With more exposure and experimentation, the alcohol can grip the teen. It becomes enticing. Depending on the teens social situation, usage can be reinforced through the comradery of peers.

There is a pseudomaturity that can develop.

The teen thinks they know what they are doing and believe themselves to be in control of their usage and situation.

It is a pseudomaturity as in reality teens do not have the actual life experience to appreciate the impact and potential dangers of their consumption.

If their parents consume regularly at any level, this helps normalize the teens view of their consumption.

Lectures rarely affect change in teens use of alcohol.

If concerning, the parent must examine the context and influence of the home environment for contributions to those concerns. Unchecked, creating and facitating change in the teen will be much more difficult.

Parents will also have to learn to set boundaries, limits and expectations with the teen coming from a place of love, respect and concern versus anger, power and control.

Influence is always more substantial in the context of a good relationship.

Some situations of concern may require the parents to seek counseling to better address their approach.

Counseling for the teen may sound like a good idea and give the impression of help, but in the absense of informed parents managing appropriately themselves, that individual counseling for the teen may be like arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

Best advice for mitigating these issues in advance rests with a good relationship with the teen, peace in the home and access to wholesome activities where there is some degree of skill development and supervision.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.