by Caroline Aldridge

Caroline Aldridge, a social work lecturer, bereaved mother, and independent author, has written and self-published a book, He Died Waiting, with a purpose. She invites readers into her world in the hope of changing peoples’ hearts and minds and provoking positive change. Her personal and professional perspectives are cleaved together in a rich account of lived experience.

Through Caroline, we get to know her eldest son, Tim, who had bipolar disorder. The mental health services Tim encountered were chaotic, inaccessible, and unsafe. Tim never seemed to be the right kind of ill to get the help he needed. Like many other people with mental illness, he joined an endless waiting list. He died waiting for an appointment.

Caroline was thrust into the incomprehensible and brutal procedures that follow an ‘unexpected death’. The collision of her professional and personal life led to consequences beyond anything she could have imagined. She encountered a cruel, system-wide, culture of denial and defensiveness.

Nevertheless, this is a positive narrative about the power of integrity, relationships, compassion, and love. Tim’s story illustrates the impact of the current crisis in mental health services and the empty rhetoric of commitments to ‘learn lessons’ when things go wrong. Caroline’s book is a plea, for policymakers, organisations, professionals, and the public, to exercise decency, challenge unsafe or unkind practice, support people in distress, and push for improved services.

The foreword, by Sara Ryan (author of Justice for Laughing Boy: Connor Sparrowhawk – A Death by Indifference),  says, He Died Waiting is a “searing account of love, family, mental health and the grotesque response from those responsible … it literally took my breath away.”

This book is perfect for students and practitioners across health and social care who want to immerse themselves in the ‘service-user’ and carer experience. Caroline is developing resources for practice educators, to support them to use He Died Waiting as a learning resource. The book and these resources are available on Caroline’s website: www.learningsocialworker.com Caroline tweets as @CarolineAldrid5 and @waiting_he

Reviews:

“The book draws a picture of Tim and I felt like I could stand in his shoes and view his encounters with professionals from his perspective. As a student, this book reminds me to be curious, kind, compassionate and non-judgemental” (social work student).

“I urge all in social work, nursing and all human services professions to read the deeply moving He Died Waiting by the courageous Caroline Aldridge” (social work team manager).

“When you have a story as vivid to support your learning you remember exactly why it is that you are doing what you do” (mental health practitioner).

“I couldn’t put it down. So much resonated with me as mother” (bereaved parent).

“This book is beautifully written. I veered from admiration to despair, from tears to hope. It will not only move you but will leave you asking what you can do to effect change” (mental health service-user).

Reference:

Aldridge, C. (2020). He died waiting: Learning the lessons – a bereaved mother’s view of mental health services. Norwich. Learning Social Worker Publications. ISBN: 978-1-8382420-0-8

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