When Your Child’s Other Parent is a Narcissist

“I have these three friends at work,” she said to her son.

“Two no longer get along and the third is stuck in the middle between them.”

“She wants to be friends with both because she has to work with them both. One is good with it. The other is angry and says she shouldn’t be friends with the other one. That one also says mean things about the other.”

“She feels so stuck. What do you think she should do?”

Her son reflected on the situation.

The mom knew given his age, not all his solutions would be good. She was ready though with more possible questions to unpack the quagmire. All she ever did was wonder. Wonder and ask questions.

She found this story a good strategy for helping her son sort out the position he was in between herself and his father.

Never did his mom make a direct connection and even if he did, she knew she would redirect back to her situation at work.

As time went by though, her son would ask his own hypothetical questions about the situation mom discussed.

Together they learned to track the ups and downs of mom’s three work colleagues.

The lad was able to better navigate his parents’ situation as time went on.

Never a harsh word was spoken by his mom of his dad.

Together they developed strategies to help mom’s friend, caught in the middle.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.