Managing Your Own Parents’ Access to the Grandkids

If your parents have been abusive to you, you still may think you have to let them see your kids, even if concerned.

So much as to whether you should or not depends on your parents’ behavior.

If they continue to be abusive to you in any way, including being dismissive of your parenting requests or if they are putting you down to your kids, then if they see them, it should be supervised.

They don’t have to like it. It’s about you being appropriately protective.

It any untoward behavior continues when supervised, then it may be better to stop their time with your kids.

As to what to tell your kids, be factual.

“Grandpaents aren’t minding their behavior when we are together and I don’t want you exposed to that or to think it is acceptable. When their behavior can be reasonable, we may resume seeing them again”

You are the parent. You get to parent.

You don’t need to let yourself be guilted into poor decisions that expose your kids to inappropriate behavior by anyone.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.