Narcissism. What Causes It?

I am frequently asked what causes a person to become a narcissist.

Truth is, like all things human, it’s multifaceted.

The answer lies somewhere on a spectrum of biology and one’s growing up experiences as well as the interplay between them.

Apart from biology/genetics, there are multiple theories from a psychosocial perspective.

Those theories will range from behavioral, to psychodynamic to social learning theory.

Some folks, depending on their training may lean towards one over another in terms of their beliefs. That may be a built in bias on the basis of their training in that particular approach.

We do see some common patters in terms of childhood experiences ranging from having been indulged to having witnessed the abuse of family members to having been abused directly. Then again there are those with no such experiences yet still have these personalities.

So in the end, there is no easy one size fits all answer although some professionals will hold strongly to their beliefs that some determinants are more germaine than others.

Regardless, diagnosis is made on the basis of observable traits and behavior. What someone does, how one behaves typically signals personality type.

What remains though is having to live with or work with another who is characterized as being a narcissist. That takes a particular skill set.

Understanding why someone is as they are doesn’t always translate to knowing what to do or how to manage with this so-defined person.

If you have to manage with such a person, it is likely better to ask how instead of why.

My posts on the subject lean towards the how to manage with such a person in one’s life as well as appreciating the havoc such persons can wreak upon the lives of others.

There will be those who lean towards seeking to understand those identified as narcissist as well as their treatment.

With regard to treatment, outcomes are poor. Change doesn’t come easily or quickly. Personalities, for better of worse, tend to hold tight.

If you are dealing with a narcissist in your life, your life may improve faster by your learning specialized coping skills instead of waiting for the narcissist to change.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.