Teens Use of Smartphones and Parental Influence

A few years back I chatted with some 110, grade 10 students in a workshop.

I asked what they wanted me to talk about. I asked what they were grappling with.

One young woman raised her hand and said, “Fatigue.”

I explored that with the group. A show of hands suggested some 90% dealt with fatigue on a regular basis.

I asked how many of the students here slept with their smartphone within a foot of the heads. Again about 90%.

I then asked how many of the students felt they had to be the last one to text the other or respond in a chat. Yep… about 90%.

Another young woman raised her hand and said fatigue wasn’t an issue for her. She then added that her mother makes her leave her phone outside the bedroom after 10:00 pm.

Oh, that one student. She stuck out like a sore thumb.

She actually didn’t seem to care.

Indeed, she seemed to have a sense of pride not feeling fatigued and she also seemed OK having her mother to use as her reason.

I suggested to the group that they see the connection between their fatigue, smartphone accessibility and desire to get the last word.

I pointed out the difference having the phone outside the bedroom and let them know they could do that if they wanted. That got a poor show of hands.

However, they would do so if required by a parent. Perhaps grudgingly, but would ultimately do so if pushed.

It’s remarkable how influential parents can be if they choose to be.

It’s also remarkable that even if they balk, the vast majority of teens would comply with reasonable expectations.

So, like I said to those kids… what you do is up to you.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.