Giving In to a Narcissist Doesn’t Buy Peace

Many hope that by giving in to a narcissistic ex, they can buy peace.

What many of these folks come to realize is that their ex is never gratified.

Indeed, the ex learns that holding you hostage pays off. Hence it continues in as many ways possible.

Your emancipation is not something the ex will likely grant.

It is yours to take.

The longer one takes to set boundaries with such a person, the more challenging it will likely be. That is because the narcissist has learned that their persistence lowers your resistance.

If you finally seek to free yourself and hold to boundaries, be prepared for an escalation of scare tactics, blame and intimidation.

Have your supports in place.

Know that their escalation is actually your evidence of abuse if police or court intervention is necessary.

Hold on to all those nasty texts and messages.

Seek not to reply.

Be brief if you do and only reasonable in tone while maintaining boundaries.

Remember, your responses are evidence too.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.