When Our Body Doesn’t Match….

It is so difficult for many folks to understand the psychic pain for those whose bodies don’t match their felt feeling of gender.

In short, this is gender dysphoria. It is also difficult for folks with gender dysphoria to come forward. They greatly fear rejection by family, friends and the larger community.

Unfortunately, many fears are founded in reality.

Society has long discriminated on the basis of gender, sexual orientation and when one’s anatomy doesn’t match a person’s felt gender. With those fears, so many people hold their feelings inside, leading an inauthentic life. For some that leads to remarkable depression. With that, thoughts of suicide and suicidal behavior.

It provides remarkable relief and restoration of mental health when one can live an authentic life.

This is true for all of us, regardless the issue.

For folks whose anatomy do not match their felt gender, part of that authentic life may include surgery so that one physical appearance can finally align with who they are.

As odd as that may sound to folks who know little to nothing of these matters, indeed, such surgery can be life saving. To withhold such surgery in these circumstances can be considered cruel.

If we judge, let it be not be on a person’s appearance, gender, sexual orientation or aligning with their true gender.

If we judge and we are to be judged, let it be on the basis of our compassion, inclusion and open mindedness. Be a place of safety. It literally is life saving.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.