Even When So Young, They Know.

The three-year-old had trouble settling at night. There was also difficulty going to daycare or being away from their mother.

They called it separation anxiety and tried to let the child cry it out. The child didn’t settle.

In meeting with the mom I learned about the conflict between her and her partner. Often it was at night, after the child was put to bed.

At times though the conflict erupted when the mom was leaving the house, taking the child to daycare.

That conflict was yelling and screaming. There was the odd time of throwing and smashing things.

This three-year-old knew. This three-year-old was scared for her mom. This three-year-old didn’t want to leave the mom alone.

Already, in a child this young, the child felt a need to be protective of their parent.

The child’s behavior settled when the mom was safe.

The behavior between the partner and mom, that is referred to as domestic violence. It is also referred to as intimate partner violence. It includes yelling and screaming as well as throwing and breaking things.

People don’t have to be physically touched or hurt for this behavior to be labled violence.

It scares kids. It causes them to worry. Some want to be protective. They are too young to be truly helpful. They come to feel defeated, hopeless.

If this continues those feelings can grow to become depression and/or anxiety.

Violent behavior in the home affects kids.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.