One Little Thing and They Jump All Over It

Some people like to pounce.

It could be a parent, a manager, a colleague, one’s partner…. They like to pounce.

What I mean is that these folks will be silent about any number of your accomplishments, but get one thing wrong and not even necessarily wrong, just different from how they may see things and they jump critically upon you. Pounce.

When or if you advise them of being unnecessarily critical, they may say they are just being honest. Thing is, there may be truth in what they are saying, but their delivery is meant to bring you down a notch, defame you.

They are not out to help you by sharing their perspective. The goal is not to inform or correct. It’s an attack disguised as a correction. Pounce.

In my experience pouncers don’t really want to change or take responsibility for jumping on you. Indeed, they may not even recognize this behavior in themselves.

I do wonder about them being insecure and somehow derive some sense of superiority by catching a fault in something you’ve done.

Where possible, I see these folks as best avoided. If they cannot be avoided, one can accept their criticism graciously and move on or one can try and give minimal to no attention.

Swinging back gives them a platform and incentive to be argumentative. They enjoy dragging others into their rabbit hole.

Leave it lay. It tends to take the wind out of their sails.

Pouncers. That’s my name for these folks.

---

Are you following me on Facebook yet? If not, you are missing many more posts!

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
www.yoursocialworker.com for counseling and support

www.garydirenfeld.com – to build your successful practice

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.