The Challenge in Leaving an Abusive Relationship

There are many important reasons why someone may not leave an abusive relationship.

People need somewhere to go. Not everyone has alternative accommodations available for themselves, let alone with kids and even pets.

Then on top of accommodations, there is the cost of living beyond that. Food, clothing, transportation. Not all will have sufficient funds. An aspect of abuse can include financial control by the partner.

Leaving with kids can also impact their schooling and social supports. That can weigh heavily into a decision to leave.

Then of course there is the reality of leaving. It’s dangerous. The period of leaving increases the risk of harm as it increases the anger in the partner being left.

These are just some of the practical considerations for a person seeking to leave an abusive relationship.

So please, withhold judgement. Instead, offer support.

Be the person who is there to help.

If you cannot help directly, point to available community services. Do realize that crisis help isn’t always readily available, so point to services that may help plan one’s escape.

That includes women’s shelters because most do offer confidential planning to help women more safely leave an abusive relationship.

Leaving an abusive relationship does take time, planning and support.

Be that person. Be supportive. Be one who is safe to another when their world is anything but safe.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.