Mental Illness: It’s Exhausting

It can be difficult to appreciate the impact of mental illness on one’s capacity to meet the daily demands of life and on the capacity to manage stress.

Hence when expectations aren’t met or mood disrupts attitude, blame can quickly set in.

Having a mental health diagnosis is like carrying additional weights on one’s back. Depending on the diagnosis and severity, that weight can be significant.

With that additional weight, getting through one’s day can be exhausting. There can be little left over to meet expectations and keep attitude in check.

The person in the face of the limited understanding or appreciation of these issues can themselves be angry and also burdened picking up the expectations that had been placed on the other as well as coping with their disposition.

This can be a set up for significant conflict.

In couple counseling it is important to understand that the mental health challenges of one or both may be the real issues beneath the conflict, unmet expectations and attitudes.

Neither person need be blamed. Rather it is important to help people understand the nature and effect of any mental health diagnosis.

To add, the issues of mental health must be separated from the person. No one asks for these challenges and no one should be shamed or guilted for them.

Mental illness, even if well treated can still be a weight to carry. The effects of helpful medication may also contribute to difficulty meeting expectations.

With an appreciation of the underlying issues to conflict in these situations, people can then move on to problem solving.

What supports may be helpful to meet expectations? What expectations may just not be achievable and if not, what alternate strategies can be put in place?

Coming to a reasonable understanding of the burden and impact of mental illness and planning accordingly can help ease issues and restore reasonableness to the couple relationship.

Mental illness. It can so affect meeting the demands of life. Be gentle.

---

Are you following me on Facebook yet? If not, you are missing many more posts!

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
www.yoursocialworker.com for counseling and support

www.garydirenfeld.com – to build your successful practice

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.