When the Narcissist Influences the Child

Good luck keeping that narcissist from messing with your kid’s head.

Just like locks don’t really keep out burglars, Judge’s orders not to badmouth a parent don’t really stop the narcissist either.

The way to help your kid manage is by your actions as a role model.

That means remaining calm under duress and your learning not to be dragged down rabbit holes be it by the ex or your kid.

When your child challenges you with notions coming from the ex, neutrally acknowledge hearing them, but redirect amd move on.

“Ah, I hear you…. Let’s get dinner going…”

Or…

“Yep. Other parent has lots of feelings about me. Oh well. Come, let’s start dinner…”

As you learn not to engage and let things roll off your back, you are at the same time teaching your child how to do so too.

Your non-response suggest that what is said just isn’t important. How you react can take the weight out of it.

So while you can’t control the ex, as you manage with calm and redirection, you avoid the rabbit hole and get back to your life with your child on your terms.

Sure, it can be hard, yet… it’s necessary.

Too hard? Get support from a divorce coach who is experienced in supporting people in these situations.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.