Parenting Approaches and Influences

As much as parents believe they are using the best approach for their kids, most are using an approach either best suited to their own personality, or something consistent with their own growing up experiences or something chosen to be in effect, the opposite of their growing up experience.

To use what is truly “best”, one must have considerable self-awareness, an ability to differentiate their needs from those of the child, a good understanding of child development and a range of strategies from which to choose in order to meet the needs of the child at any given moment or situation.

To add, the parent must have the capacity to self-regulate when they themselves are under duress.

If when seeking information to supplement or inform ones parenting, parents are often influenced by their own biases.

Those biases may look for something consistent with pre-existing views, or again, something quite dissimilar from one’s experience if one’s experience was seen as problematic.

It seeking parenting advice, it is important to then find someone familiar with a range of strategies and perspectives as well as having some education and grasp of child development.

What can differentiate the better parenting consultant, is their not being married to any one approach, but having the ability to draw from a number of different theories and approaches to selectively and somewhat scientifically determine which may be more helpful to the child given an assessmentof the situation.

Notwithstanding, we know that practices that are harsh, punitive and chaotic are not given to good outcomes.

So whatever the approach, delivery that remains empathetic, calm, supportive and non-punitive remain important.