The Narcissistic Ex

Some things are just difficult to appreciate without the experience.

One of those things is life with a narcissistic ex.

It’s hard to believe a former partner and coparent would so deliberately poison their kids against the other parent.

It’s beyond comprehensible to think that in doing so, they would let their own kids be psychologically and emotionally destroyed by their own actions.

The actions of the narcissist are so extreme and contrary to any reasonable thinking that it causes reasonable people to believe there must be something wrong, if not terribly wrong with the coparent they target.

While no one is perfect, rarely is there any objective truth to the badmouthing spread by the n-rcissist of their ex. Rarely is their anything to realistically support or justify the nonsense of the n-rcissist. The n-rcissist builds their stories on a bed of half-truths, distortions and lies.

If you should encounter someone separated who can only spew vitriol about their ex and see no contribution to their issues, question the truth of the information and perspective they are sharing. If they double down and/or get angry with you, it may be best to run.

When otherwise reasonable and mentally healthy people separate, while experiencing anger, sadness, grief, etc., at the same time they likely can acknowledge mutual issues undermining the integrity and stability of the relationship. That is the majority of separated parents.

However, those dealing with a narcissistic ex are typically subject a campaign of denigrating accusations and character assassination.

Don’t add to their misery by accepting the extreme and manipulative perspectives put out by the former partner seeking to destroy them.

After all, who does that!

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.