Managing Your Child’s Anxiety.

That childhood anxiety.

As you ask the many questions seeking an answer as to why from the child, you may inadvertently be ramping up anxiety for you both.

Anxiety, as a disorder, is about feelings betraying the mind as the feelings are either disproportionate to the triggering event or an independent experience.

Seeking to know why or even what from the child is very often unanswerable.

Given that the feeling is a big feeling, yet not really “answerable,” seek to support and help the child to carry on.

When we let go of reasonable expectations in view of the big feelings, then the big feelings win.

It is as if we are saying there really is something to be fearful of.

That enables increasing withdrawal by the child to assuage the feelings, rather than cope and manage and learn that the big feelings were nothing to actually fear.

It can be scary for the parent who seeks to support and see the child through the situation as the child may intensify their resistance.

In these circumstances the child needs to see a calm and compassionate resolve on the part of the parent, expressing trust in the situation, that meeting expectations won’t bring harm.

Sometimes the parent needs as much, if not more support than the child.

Hence counseling for the parent to better understand the dynamics of anxiety and their role in management can be more helpful than the child’s attendance in counseling.

---

Are you following me on Facebook yet? If not, you are missing many more posts!

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
www.yoursocialworker.com for counseling and support

www.garydirenfeld.com – to build your successful practice

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.