Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity

Truth is, human sexuality is complex. Somehow though this truth is misunderstood by many and outright denied by others.

Like any other aspect of human health, behavior, traits and personality, sexuality is also on a spectrum. Indeed multiple spectrums.

The two confusing spectrums for many is sexual orientation and gender identity.

Sexual orientation is about who one is sexually attracted to. It can range from opposite, to same to either and even neither.

Gender identity is how one sees or feels about oneself from a gender perspective.

I can feel like the gender identified by my genitals and I can also feel different to what my genitals may otherwise suggest. I may even feel like neither or even both.

While some may be less common, all are in the realm of human life.

Then there is the intersection of sexual orientation and gender identity.

One can identify as a gender not consistent with their external genitals yet their sexual orientation may be the same or different from what their genitals suggest.

If you find this all confusing, imagine being the person for whom society or their family or their faith has a much more simple view, a binary view of these matters.

Part of being human is seeking to be accepted for who we are, to be validated and valued.

When one cannot be their true self, it creates internal conflict which in turn can lead to issues of depression and/or anxiety.

The singular best treatment for this is not forcing the individual into the straight jacket of genital based gender identity and opposite sex orientation but rather educating the public as to the true range of human sexuality.

With education we hope come understanding, acceptance and inclusion.

We are somewhat at a crossroads of that education.

I say crossroads because on the one hand more is known about the diversity of human sexuality than ever before. However, there are those who are stuck on the superficial and simple binary who seek to push back on this human truth.

If we love a person, let us love them for who they are. Simple answers always leave others behind.

Appreciate the wondrous complexity of human life. Embrace differences for therein relationships may remain intact and mental health and well-being may flourish.

We are human. We are complex.

(Please know this post also doesn’t represent the full complexity of the subject matter, but only seeks to be representative of issues involved.)

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.