The Roots of Emotional Maturity

Emotional maturity begins early.

The infant is hungry and cries. The crying continues until fed. That is the way of the infant.

The two year old is hungry and, if crying, is told by the parent that the food will be ready shortly.

That two-year-old gains their composure with the patience, calm, and support of the parent. The two-year-old learns to wait.

That learning to wait in the face of hunger develops frustration tolerance. The child can withstand not having the need to feed met immediately. They are delaying gratification.

Imagine if the parent, feeling anxious over the two-year-old’s cry, rushed and immediately satisfied the child with the quickest thing the child could eat. Perhaps a cookie.

Instead of developing frustration tolerance and learning to delay gratification, this child is learning that such feelings breed anxiety and then it is quickly rewarded.

Thus, big feelings are to be feared and quickly squashed, even if by things that feel good, but are not necessarily good, at least in the moment.

There is a trajectory from these early experiences.

Consider which path you prefer.

Emotional maturity. It starts early.

---

Are you following me on Facebook yet? If not, you are missing many more posts!

I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
www.yoursocialworker.com for counseling and support

www.garydirenfeld.com – to build your successful practice

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.