She Discovered Herself….

Her trajectory to recognizing and accepting her same sex orientation took time.

Coming from a strongly religious family, she did her best to deny her feelings.

She dated men but never really connected. However, it was enough to keep her parents from recognizing her hidden truth.

It wasn’t until she attended college away from home did she let experimentation take over.

She kissed another student in her dorm room.

It was confusing because it felt good. She didn’t continue though. The fear of what her parents would think ran through her head.

It was difficult concentrating on school, her mind on her dilemma. It created sadness and conflict.

There were dark thoughts. She tried to deny those too.

It wasn’t until another student really came on to her, did he fully feel the real weight of her dilemma. This was someone she really liked.

With her she was comfortable and could finally be herself. The fear of her parents remained.

It was on a weekend visit, when she knew she would be returning to school did she finally come out to her parents.

The words came out slowly, “I like women.”

They didn’t get it at first, but she stood there and repeated herself slowly and quietly.

Their faces turned serious. It not that her parents spoke. It more that her dad mumbled and her mom stool still, more like immobilized.

Leaving the room, she didn’t know how long her parents stood there without her.

She went to bed and sought to leave early to avoid them both.

Dad was there in the kitchen.

He said they would sort things out.

She wasn’t so sure.

It was the woman with whom she found herself attracted who was her greatest support. She was kind, empathetic and patient.

So with that weekend she both gained and lost a part of herself.

The irony is, this was otherwise the very kind of person her parents would want for her.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.