Do You Know the Ingredients to Healthy Self-Esteem?

There are two key ingredients to healthy self-esteem.

One is being valued and the other is developing competencies.

Being valued is greatly dependent of the love and care of both parents. Others may contribute. Others may compensate. Both parents still remain important because every kid comes to understand they are a product of both.

Absent one, questions remain. Doubts may set in. At least let them hold a reasonable image of some aspects of an inadequate or absent parent.

Competency is about being able to do things to take care of oneself. It can begin when the toddler puts their fingers in their food and draws them to their mouth. The joy of feeding oneself. It could be buttoning one’s clothes or pulling the blanket up on one’s bed. It could be toileting.

So, if you want the best of self-esteem for your child, do what you can to be present for them. If a parent is inadequate, sure, protect them, but do not run down that parent for your child knows that half of that parent still resides within them.

As your child strives to do things on their own behalf, celebrate effort and any movement towards accomplishment or improvement. Let them find their strengths and promote them.

Healthy self-esteem enables a child to feel good about themselves, their place in the world, and as having capacity to act and care for themselves within it.

Value your kids and promote their capacity to manage the tasks of life.

That makes for a launching pad to better success.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.