Life and the Secret to Managing

Let’s be clear. Life is not a straight line. It not only has bumps, it has tremendous highs and tremendous lows. That is the nature of life from which no one is exempt.

The real issue then is resiliency, the capacity to overcome adversity. That and support.

There we differ.Some folks have remarkable resiliency and some do not.

Some have remarkable supports and some do not.

Those who have both are more likely to manage the grinds of life and get though more effectively. Resiliency can be naturally acquired, as, in the genes. It also can be greatly influenced by one’s upbringing. Indeed, upbringing can even enhance or detract from what one may be born with.

That resiliency, enhanced by life depends upon our learning positive relationship skills, self management skills and other life skills or competencies. Learning that is enhanced by positive approaches where one feels good about oneself, tend to be more impactful towards resiliency.

So when it come to managing kids, we seek to have them learn to do for themselves, under positive instruction and guidance. To the degree to which we step in on their behalf and do for them or allow their avoidance, they neither learn nor develop resiliency. Support means we have others there for us and we are there for them. We are each other’s safety net. We have each other’s back. That support can be emotional, spiritual, financial, physical, etc.

Support means giving of ourselves to the care and betterment of the other when in need. Not only is support about giving, but the capacity to receive as well. We need the ability to both give and receive as a means to manage life for ourself and others.

Support often depends upon the quality of relationships.

The quality of relationships depends upon how we manage ourselves, act reasonably and the degree to which we accept diversity and practice inclusion and compassion within our own family.

Many folks are overwhelmed by the impact of life. The ups and downs.

However, there is no changing life.

There is hope in working on resiliency and supports. Therein may be magic for those whose common life events have great negative impact.

Resiliency and support. There is where the work must be done as life, is life. Yes, there are ways to enhance resiliency and support. That learning may occur in counseling, that learning may occur from a positive role model, that learning may start by asking for help.

Asking for help is an indicator of resiliency and the capacity to receive support.

That, is a good start to better managing what life throws at us. Life caving in on you?

Ask for help. Develop resiliency and support.

Therein is the secret to managing life.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.