Think You Need a Pitbull Lawyer?

She wanted to hire a pitbull lawyer. Afterall, his was a shark.

I explained that was the fastest way to ratchet up conflict, confuse the judge, and prolong the dispute.

She listened. She hired a lawyer trained in settling disputes respectfully.

The lawyer deftly addressed the lies and explained the situation without resorting to threatening or intimidating demands or replies.

Indeed, the lawyer ignored the nonsense from the other side and simply stuck to the facts of the matter and what was required by law.

It still took much time to wind through the court system, but as it did, one judge after another commented and found in her favor.

It was somewhat easy given the contrasting styles.

None of this changed the disposition of her ex.

It did however lead to a less costly resolution in the long run.

Over the years, their children grew.

Her reasonable disposition and continuing to set reasonable limits, boundaries and expectations with the kids created the conditions where over time and by their adolescence, they chose to see their dad infrequently and live predominantly with her.

She played to the long game and learned there would be skirmishes along the way.

Initially it was difficult to adopt the new mindset, fending off constant bullying.

The coaching and support throughout paid off.

It sure wasn’t a fairytale ending. The kids did have their issues from time to time too.

It’s just that given the whole situation, it could have been disastrously worse.

She relaxed into the mess, took things in stride and mostly, disengaged emotionally from his behavior. With that, she regained her power as he lost his.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
www.yoursocialworker.com for counseling and support

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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.