Some Things Just Suck To Do….

It’s interesting.

The fact that I don’t actually enjoy my cardiac rehab excercise seems to upset some people, including my coach at the program.

Several are looking for solutions assuming this is a problem.

It’s not a problem for me. It doesn’t get in the way of what I have to do.

It does make me wonder though about people’s belief systems.

It seems some may think those things we must do, must also be enjoyable or at least neutral.

To me that is unrealistic. Not all things we must do will necessarily be pleasurable.

I am also thinking about how that perspective may transfer to children.

If the child expects all activities and expectations to be pleasurable, that is a set up for either a much indulged child or a very disappointed child.

We cope with much in life that comes not of our choosing or our liking. The capacity to still meet the necessities and obligations of life is part of resilience.

The challenge is learning to accept that which may not be pleasurable yet still necessary.

That could be as simple as a trip to the dentist, getting homework completed, getting to bed at a reasonable hour.

We certainly support and empathize with the child having to meet the demands of that which is necessary but unpleasureable, but we do not need to bribe or reward.

Sit with it. It’s ok to have some discomfort. Indeed, some have way more than ever deserved. Resilience gets us through, not avoidance and not all will be rewarded.

Such is the reality of life.

We cope.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.