Grief. It applies more than just to a loved one.

People typically understand what is known as grief, that sense of emotional pain and adjustment to a significant loss, typically considered to be a person through death.

However there are other kinds of grief, two of which are known as ambiguous and disenfranchised.

Ambiguous loss and grief is when one mourns something like a relationship, yet the person is still here, with us. There is ambiguity in terms of the object of loss. An element remains.

Disenfranchised loss or grief is that which society or a portion of society, may not recognize as truly a loss. That can be the result of an early miscarriage or even the passing of a former spouse. Some would wonder at the grieving of such a loss.

In those examples there are people who may hold the view those losses are not to be mourned. This places an additional burden on the one seeking to cope with the experience, when it isn’t understood by another.

We have to appreciate the sense of loss one feels is not for another to determine for anyone else.

We cannot pass judgment on anyone’s grief, regardless of what the loss may be.

Grief may be felt for things other than the loss of something or someone tangible.

Grief may also be experienced for the loss of an ability or even opportunity.

The issue is, a loss. If it hits you and creates upset, you get to grieve. That’s part of being human.

The other part of being human is the understanding and support of others.

Be human.

Understand that the impact of a loss is not for another to determine. With that seek to be supportive for the impact of a loss on another, whatever that loss may be.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.