Moving Forward

In the years that I have been healing full time I have definitely gone through the stages. I’m currently in a place where I want to move forward with my life. I’m not interested in talking about the details of the abuse anymore. I’m not interested in talking about the abusers anymore or why they do the things they do. They aren’t fascinating to me or interesting really at all anymore. The abusers are now boring and dull to me, mostly all the same. They harm and abuse. I’m ready to leave them in the past where they belong.

I have not decided to restart medication through doctors and I am not going back to therapy for now. I’m taking a break from all the the intensive search for answers, information and all of that. I am now working on what I know helps me. This list is my list and you may find other things helpful that I don’t have listed. Feel free to chime in on the comments section and share what has helped you most or least if you would like too.

Things I have found to be most helpful for me to cope and heal with CPTSD:

DBT skills

Meditation

Mindful living practices

Grounding -physical and emotional

Medical Marijuana

EMDR

Talk therapy for suicidal ideation

Limiting my social media and online time

Strengthening my boundaries around people

What has NOT worked for me:

Group therapy

Antidepressants

Medical and psyche professionals that are not trauma informed

As much as the professionals want to tell me that I have this disorder or that disorder what it all comes down to is that several people abused and harmed me and now my nervous system is dysregulated. I’m putting in the work to make small changes over time and do practices that will help to calm my system and continue to heal.

After my last encounter with the mental health system here is America I’m left feeling like there isn’t going to be treatment or medication to help me and I’m once again on my own. With my current life circumstances and the pandemic still raging on with another rising wave I have a unique opportunity to create a a calmer more peaceful life for myself. I am now pressing on with my goals set long ago. I’m getting there and making it happen.

What goals? I’ve spoken a little about them here. I am in classes and about half way finished with my meditation instructor classes. With that I plan to create products to help other people learn to meditate and gain the benefits that come along with the practice. I am slow and it takes me awhile but there really is no rush. In fact, not rushing or hurrying myself to pump out products is part of the work of taking better care of myself.

I am excited again for what my life has in store for me. Stay tuned for more updates! I will definitely still be writing in this blog. I’ve also found many of my old video diaries and will be reposting them. It’s a slow process but I am getting there! Thank you for reading and I hope you are all having a great week. 🙂