DV – When the Teen Fights Back

Trigger warning. This post discusses violence against women.

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I asked directly if there had ever been hitting between his parents.

He spoke of how his dad was violent with his mother.

When I asked if it ever stopped, he said it did, at least for a while.

I asked how.

He described a violent and chaotic scene. Dad was on a tirade, mother screaming. He knew she was going to get it again. He worried that this time it would be worse.

He got a bat and took on his father. Adrenaline was pumping.

He never struck his dad, but his intensity and mid adolescent size was enough for his dad to back down. He threatened his dad that if he ever hit her again, he would kill him.

Mom never left his father. This fellow left home before reaching twenty.

He himself was a gentle fellow.

He needed to address trauma contributing to alcohol consumption.

He had been to previous therapists. I asked if this had been discussed before.

He said no. No one had ever asked.

He did well in therapy. We chatted about it all.

Over my 40+ years of practice, this would be a scenario I would hear from time to time.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.