When You Need a Poke

Admittedly, I am a workaholic. My dad was a workaholic. My brothers are workaholics.

I love what I do. I love meeting and working with people. I love writing. I love presenting. I love what I do.

Years ago, working from home, our son came to my office to grab some time with me. I blew him off.

It wasn’t long after I felt the heat of Arlene’s gaze at my back. I dared to turn. She let me know I blew off our son.

I found him. We spent some time together. He was energized. I went back to work.

I wasn’t going to live this down though. I needed to dial it back. It was hard for me to remain mindful.

We happen to go to a local fair. There was a wood carver. I needed a cognitive cue.

A cognitive cue is a fancy dancy name for “reminder.” Anything can be a cognitive cue as long as it serves to remind you of what you need reminding.

I needed to be reminded to relax. I got the word “relax” carved in wood.

For about 27 years, that word, carved in wood has remained front and centre in my life.

The carved word has magical powers. I see it and I am instantly reminded of when I blew off our son and thus, to take a break, to spend time with our son back then. Arlene now.

Over the years it has really sunk in. I still work a lot, but not nearly as my dad did or my brothers. I have for sure, relaxed.

You may need your own reminder to keep something top of mind, front and centre.

You get to have your own cognitive cue.

Use it to change or manage behavior. You can do it simply by writing your reminder on a piece of paper and pinning it up somewhere in sight.

We all need a poke about something.

Best if you poke yourself.

Make your own reminder.

Magical if you let it.

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I am Gary Direnfeld and I am a social worker. Check out all my services and then call me if you need help with a personal issue, mental health concern, child behavior or relationship, divorce or separation issue or even help growing your practice. I am available in person and by video conferencing.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

gary@yoursocialworker.com
www.yoursocialworker.com for counseling and support

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Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead, former parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator and author of Marriage Rescue: Overcoming the ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Gary maintains a private practice in Georgina Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America. He consults to mental health professionals as well as to mediators and collaborative law professionals about good practice as well as building their practice.